A lot of things inspire me. A lot of it starts with who I want to be, and what I really am.
While doing something different, I had realized the conflicting patterns in my life. And those patterns consisting of friends, habits, love, and arguments. Some things won’t change and all that I can change is who I am and what I do to change those things.
Friends don’t last forever. Some are a simple undertone in ones life, and they always can be seen, but for the most part, a lot of friends drift away. It’s safe to say I am on a new voyage of loving myself. I don’t want to depend on going out to feel like a new woman. I want to be my own best friend. Self dependence is so sexy to me. And how dare I preach to others how strong independence is when I’m not that my own self at times. The older I get, day by day, I honestly see how important it is to just do what’s good for me. I have my families and Javi, and that’s all I need. I get through my days fighting my own battles, acting as a one man army. I’ve found myself getting into little tidbits of trouble for being honest and or “real”. My beloved truly believes I’m better off going through my life on my own, without anyone holding me back - the older and wiser I get, the more I believe that’s true.
I also become inspired with the way I for see my future. I want to be a nurse and I want to be a damn good nurse. I want to be able to manage my stress - because I know stress is inevitable to life (biologically speaking). I see my daughters future room, or the kitchen, or the city we raise our family in. I become so, so inspired thinking about the cars I will drive and the home we will build. I look in HGTV magazines and feel so blissful at all of the ideas that flood my mind and soul. It’s truly beautiful.
I become so inspired to be the best daughter in law (future I should say lol), I want to constantly make his parents proud and I definitely want to show them what good I can do for him. I want him to succeed and give me a little credit for helping him. It’s beautiful when him and I can already step back and look at how far we have come and it’s only been two years.
I’m a creature of habit and my ideas of inspiration constantly change. One day I want a dark, navy and gold room, and the next, I want a soft coral room. One day I want short hair and the next my hair isn’t long enough. But I always know, my main inspiration, is to always be better than I was the day before.
~ Anne McCaffrey
I heard once from a man, “Crying doesn’t just release tears, it’s physically and mentally makes things clearer.” And there’s never been more truth to that. I think crying is so healthy, and so pure. I used to cry more than I do now, but I just always look forward to a good cry.
As a child, as far as I can even remember, I always remember having this longing to live on the east coast. I’ve never even doubted the ability to move there. It’s always been a place I have dreamt of living in. If not New York, then Connecticut, Rhode Island. I want to raise my family somewhere where there is greens, and a real winter.